INTRODUCTION

First, I should state that I’m not particularly religious. I don’t believe that Creationists are the Downfall of Our Society, nor do I believe that all you Godless Scientists are going to hell. Mostly for me, going to church is a nice community-building thing to do on a Sunday. That being said, I do like Lent. I feel like it gives me the opportunity to make what basically amount to New Year’s resolutions that I only have to keep for 40 days. So I made 4 such resolutions, figuring that if any of them stuck, I could call it a success. (This willingness to accept a 25% success rate may be contributing to my lack of graduation, but that’s another post.)

METHODS

Four resolutions were made:

Experiment 1: Get to work by 10:00 a.m.
Experiment 2: Eat/drink more dairy
Experiment 3: No alcohol
Experiment 4: Give up meat, including fish & other seafood, poultry, and red meat

RESULTS

Experiments 1 & 2 ended in failure in less than 2 weeks. Who was I kidding with Experiment 1? I don’t think anyone expected that to work. Experiment 2 required going to the grocery store regularly, finding room for milk and yogurt in the crowded refrigerator that I share with my 4 roommates, and remembering to consume them before they went bad. Grocery shopping isn’t a high priority for me since I have my vegetables delivered (bostonorganics.com - great service!), I feel guilty every time I forget to bring my own grocery bags to the store, and walking even 10 feet out of my way when it’s dark and cold out makes me sad. The failure of Experiment 1 contributed to the failure of Experiment 2 in that when I woke up late I was less likely to take the several minutes required to eat a milk-tastic breakfast at home. Giving said milk one more day to spoil. Ick.

Experiment 3 began about 2 weeks before Ash Wednesday and ended about 2 weeks before Easter. Despite the fact that the total amount of time was about 40 days, I think I lose points for not sticking it out through Easter, but it turns out that not drinking is shockingly hard. Department functions often involve beer and wine - at least at those it’s easy enough to substitute another beverage. When my friends go out to dinner or we have people over at home, there’s usually some drinking involved, and your friends are the ones most likely to give you a hard time if you’re having iced tea and they’re all having beer. But parties are the worst, because ice-breaker conversation generally starts with “so what are you drinking?” and people don’t know you’re kidding if you tell them you’re Mormon or a recovering alcoholic.

Experiment 4 was the most successful, sort of. It was at least the one I was most committed to. I did well the first week, but then as soon as I was getting comfortable, my roommates and I went out to Indian buffet, and I forgot all about my resolution until after the Chicken Tikka was in my tummy. Then I did well again until I went to a conference in Salt Lake City and again got tripped up by a buffet - forgot to think about what was in the quiche until it was too late. Similarly, I’m almost certain chinese noodles are cooked in chicken broth, but only became certain after I’d had a few bites. But these were accidents I can forgive myself for. I did purposely cheat once though - I went to the Rialto with friends for Restaurant Week, and I knew when I made the reservation that I wasn’t going to be vegetarian if I had to pay >$30 for my dinner. Good meal though - totally worth the money and the risk of eternal damnation.

Overall results: Experiment 1 - 15% success, Experiment 2 - 25% success, Experiment 3 - 75% success, Experiment 4 - 85% success. Combined - 50%, which is way better than the 25% success rate I said I’d be satisfied with.

CONCLUSIONS

1. 40 days is a fantastic period of time to ‘test drive’ a resolution. Long enough to have to try, but not so long that it feels impossible to succeed.

2. Grad students should not have to wake up at a reasonable hour.

3. Spoiled milk is gross.

4. Not drinking is more socially awkward than drinking. And do we at MIT really need help being socially awkward?

5. Not eating meat is not that hard. It takes a while for it to become habitual, and during that time, one should stay away from buffets.

Generally, when I meet new people, the conversation goes something like this:

“Hi, I’m Katy.”

“So, what do you do?”

“I’m a grad student here.”

“Oh.  What year are you?”

“Six.”

awkward pause… 

Then they either ask the obvious question (“When are you graduating?”) or quickly change the subject (“Look at that, I need a refill.”).  The debate always rages in my head whether to admit that I’ve been here as long as I have or to say something cryptic like “N+1,” but I figure the truth will come out eventually and I might as well get it over with.

At this point you are probably thinking “Six years? How embarrassing!  I’ll be out of here way before that!” or, if you’re past your first year: “Gee, I wish someone had warned me.”  So if it’s the former, consider yourself warned… not that you’ll listen, you young punk.  You kids these days and your loud music and your Interweb.  Back in my day we didn’t have the Guitar Hero and viral videos, when we wanted to procrastinate we…  Oh right, sorry ‘bout that.  Anyway, if you’re as old and senile as I am, take comfort in the fact that there are many people who’ve been here just as long or longer than you have.  And if I can admit my year without shame, so can you.  Just don’t ask me when I’m graduating…